newbie on the loose

And then there was a paycheck...

2004-11-29T17:02:00.000+08:00

Hi folks!

I'm back! Been wondering what's happening to my life these past few days?

Well, to start with, I've already received two paychecks, I'll be receiving another one tomorrow, I have a credit card, an ATM, and the best and most important event of all...I graduated!

Hahaha! Finally! After 5 1/2 years! I got to walk up that stage with my parents watching from the audience while I receive my hard-earned diploma! All I can say is "Thank God!" I thought I'd never see myself walking up that stage in PICC. Here I am now, employed and with a decent paycheck to boot! They never thought I'd find a job that easily. I guess I proved them (including myself) wrong!

It's been almost 2 months, well 1 1/2 month to be exact, since I started training in Etelecare. I've learned a lot of new things, met some new friends, experienced disappointments, depression, stress...But before things get negative again, let me just say that I am content with what I have achieved at this point. 21 yrs. old, college graduate, working in a call center. I mean, I'm starting out the rest of my life on a good note. So far, things are going smoothly, although I'm not yet sure of where my career would lead me in the next 3-5 years. But for now, I have a whole lot of options waiting for me. I could decide to stay in the company I am in right now, or I can go to another company where I could be endorsed by my sister. But as I said earlier, I am happy at where I am and I would like to stay for, maybe a couple of years.

My goal right now is to be regularized, then, promoted after 3 months. After that, I would have to evaluate my performance and see where my capabilities would take me.

That would be all for now. I hope I made up for the time I wasn't able to update this blog.

Peace!

Something Different

2004-10-04T23:08:00.003+08:00

I've noticed that all my previous posts had this "dark" theme which made me look like some psycho-schizoprenic-implosive-angry-guy. Well, this post may change all that..(i hope).

First, let's start with some good news. I'll be starting my training for E-telecare this coming monday, October 11. At last, employment within my grasp. It will only be a matter of time before I start collecting my paycheck. bwahahaha! Nyahahaha! (more maniacal laughter)

I can finally pay my debts to my parents. I could only imagine all the hardwork they went through just to put me in a decent college. Man, they've been through a lot. 25 grand for three months as tuition fee is no joke. Add to that the weekly allowances and all that crap I had to buy.

This is a sign of good things to come. It's time to turn my back on my not-so-pretty past. Yep. Move on. Next chapter. Turn a new leaf.

I hope my luck doesnt stop here. I still want to accomplish a lot more. I know I'm going to need more than just luck. I have to break out of this shell I'm holed into. Move on.

Move on. Do not be afraid.

On with the show

2004-09-25T19:24:00.000+08:00

Well, it has to start somewhere and it has to start.
My college life is over. Pass or fail, I'm leaving that goddamn institute. I've decided to start working. October 11, I'm gonna be a different boy, er, man.

I'm sick and tired of my college.

Last monday, I was confined in a clinic because of my fever. What'd I tell you folks? I told you the depression and frustration were slowly killing me. Fortunately(or Unfortunately?), my fever didnt blossom into dengue or typhoid.(sure wish I died there,hehe,but back to my morbid blog..). I'm ok now. I feel a lot better..physically. Emotionally, I'm not yet well. The pain of not passing a subject for the nth time still haunts me every night.

It's time for a new start. I'll have to put everything behind me now. The frustrations, the losses, the failures, and practically all the bullshit I had to swallow just to survive through my college life.

I wonder what this distorted world has in store for me. Would I get fired after a month at work? Would I look like an idiot in the workplace? Hmm..I wonder what unfortunate accident would happen to me next. Probably an asshole of a boss.hehe!

I'll end this entry with one of my favorite quotations from a book..

"Oh what the heck! Go for it anyway!"

Defeated once again

2004-09-17T10:07:00.000+08:00

I came. I saw. I failed.

Well, actually, i didnt fail. Lets just say I'm in limbo- neither did I pass nor fail. But for me, I might as well have failed.

Yesterday was the final defense for our design. After our instructor gave us a full term to prepare (again) for the final defense, we still came up short. Our design wasn't complete for him.

*sigh*

I don't get it. How come other students got a passing mark even if their design is also not complete?

*sigh*

I guess, that's just the way it is. I have surrendered to the fact that I'm a loser.

My group is stupid and incompetent. And I consider myself extremely unlucky for having them as my group.

I did my best. I even gave 110% just to make up for their stupidity. But, sadly, my efforts were not enough.

I won't be graduating this November.

And I might as well die of frustration.

*sigh*

Life is unfair. That's just the way it is...

I dream of sleeping

2004-09-15T05:09:00.000+08:00

It's 5:16 A.M.
I can't sleep. Too many things running in my mind. I've been like this for almost a week. The reason? My Project defense in our design subject.
The pressure is driving me crazy. Right now, my mind is completely blank but completely occupied. I feel as if i'm starving but full. Completely incomplete. Some things need to be done and I don't know what it is!
For some reason, I cant seem to escape from the anxiety that's gripping me by my neck. Will I pass or will I fail? Will I live or will I die? Should I sleep or should I sleep?
Darn.
My eyebags have developed another fold.
Two weeks left...
Two weeks before I see my grades for this term. Two freaking weeks before I know if I'll be graduating or not.
I'm not excited. Worried is the word. or Jaded, perhaps...
Well, anyway...I think I'll go to bed now. I'm off to dreamland to conquer the world. To build castles from air. To pluck money from trees. And most especially, to find my sanity.
I want to sleep.

Musings of a frustrated student

2004-09-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

What the hell is it with college?!

You spend lots of money, stay awake for several nights studying, forget about hanging out with your friends, and compromise a lot of your time just to earn a degree. I mean, why are we killing ourselves silly with these term papers, theses, reports, and other school stuff? What do we get in return? Wrinkles on the forehead, streaks of white hair, and puffy eyebags. Yeah! The Youth is the hope of the nation. But where are the youth after they graduate? They're not "the Youth" anymore. They're senseless, corrupted, and overworked creatures who look older than their parents. You'd be lucky if you see one who's as idealistic as Hitler, or Mao.

Yes, folks. I was once part of what they call "the Youth" until I entered college. Gone were the innocence, the idealism, the vigor, the drive. I have begun to hate school. My college, to be exact. That horrible college of mine who masks its true identity by naming itself an "Institute of Technology". Institute of Technology my ass! Institute of corruption is more like it. Or better yet, you could call it an Institute for Mental Patients. Imagine all the money they get from extorting from the students. The tuition fee is so expensive, yet the quality of teaching is the same as low-grade colleges. Talk about waste of money! Aside from that, the professors should not be really called professors. I prefer to call them, Airheaded Potbellied pigs.

Forgive me for being like this. I just want to vent out my frustrations. I am so disappointed with my college life. It didnt turn out exactly like I want it to. But, heck, nothing does. Life, as they say, is what we make of it. This time around, I say its not just that. Luck matters too. and a lot of Hair-pulling hardwork. I guess its not just in me to succeed in my college life. I'm really looking forward to graduating and leaving the institute.

I always like to start something new. It's like being a sculptor where you have to focus on what to cut and what to add, what to mold into this shape and what to transform into that.

This month, I will be able to know if i graduate or not. Three subjects are on the line, including my ego. I have to pass all of those three subjects if I want to make it alive for the next few months. The depression and frustration is slowly killing me. I need a break from it all.

I NEED TO GRADUATE!

Me and My Compiler Laboratory subject

2004-09-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

One of the worst subjects I have ever taken, and is currently still taking up in college, is compiler laboratory. It is the application of the theories we learned from the compiler lecture class about interpreting one language from a different language. It involves ( i hope you understand this..hehe) tokens, lexical analyzers, parsers, semantic analyzers, up to code interpreters.

Believe me folks, but this is the fifth time I am taking up the subject. That means I failed the subject four times. Can you imagine how awful I was with the subject? My failures have dealt a big blow to my ego, especially when I see my classmates who passed the subject out of pure luck. This is just unfair for me! I had to code my own programs, while my classmates would just ask some other students to code their program for them. I tried doing that, but heck, the one who tried to help me was not as bright himself. I'm so frustrated at my college life right now. I'm supposed to have graduated a month ago, for crying out loud! I'm supposed to be working for a company and earning my keep right this moment. But hell no! Where am I right now? Right here, in front of my computer, drilling some programming language into my head.

This time, I hope and pray that I finally pass the dreaded subject. This is no piece of cake. I have to work my lazy ass off and start coding the program. I'm going to need lots of moral support...and faith in myself.

next round!

2004-08-31T01:24:00.000+08:00

well, hello again. This is my second time to post a blog. I'm just wondering, how come nobody views my blogs?

Would anyone care to tell me or give me tips on how to write a good blog? I'm hoping someone would reply to this.

Once there was a neophyte

2004-08-28T01:10:00.000+08:00

Hello! As you have guessed, this is my first time to write a blog. Quite frankly, I find blogging pretty boring. Imagine writing your thoughts online, not knowing whether it made sense to anyone reading it. Not that it doesnt really matter whether I made sense or not, I just dont want to waste my time spitting out my mind on some silly web log. But Heck, here I am, caught in the trend of weblogging. I might as well enjoy this service since its free.. =)
Personally, I dont know any friends of mine who's into weblogging. I just stumbled upon this site while reading articles from ExtremeTech.com. I am somewhat interested in the way technology evolves and how society reacts to it, and ExtremeTech.com satisfies my hunger for knowledge about latest technologies. Everytime I learn something new about computers, I get some sort of high. Sort of like being enlightened by the great Buddha (I'm a catholic christian, by the way..hehe) Pretty crazy huh?
I remember crashing the PC when I was younger. Everytime i play those old DOS games, the PC ends up crashing and my sisters would get mad at me for ruining their files. Hey, I was a kid.hehe! From then on, I resolved to learn how to fix the mystifying thing called "Personal Computer". So when I entered college, I took up Computer Engineering. Now, I am happy to say that I've become quite adept at troubleshooting Personal Computers.
So, that's it. My very first Blog...salamat